For the last time

Something I’ve been thinking about lately is the ephemeral nature of experiences. Every moment that appears fades away soon after. If you happen to practice meditation, you get reminded of this every so often.

As parent, I see my son grow and evolve on a daily basis. He does new things all the time but what about the things he used to do? I often ask myself silly questions like “When is the last time I’ll read stories to him before bed?” or “When is the last time I’ll pick him up?” or even “The last time he says ’nana’ instead of ‘banana’?”

There was a period of time where he would wake up several times in the middle of the night and my wife and I would rush to his room half-awake to comfort and feed him. Sure, in the moment it felt brutal but now that I think about it I almost miss it.

I guess there will come a time where I’ll have done something for the last time without necessarily knowing when that is. For example, I love playing basketball but it’s been years since I played in an organised team regularly. The last time I played a game it didn’t even occur to me that this could be the last time, whatever the reason. I could live many more years, yet this might have been the last time I would ever play organised basketball.

When I talked to my best friend a few months ago, I didn’t know it would be the last time. As a kid I would climb trees, something which I haven’t done in forever. I don’t have specific plans to climb a tree at the moment. So could it be that perhaps back then, I climbed a tree for the last time?

It’s interesting to think about as long as you don’t dwell on the past or misplaced nostalgia. If anything, this perspective makes me want try as much as possible to be here now. By constantly reminding myself that the present is really all there is, I learned to appreciate ordinary moments without taking anything for granted.